Veena Malik Jokes in Urdu

Veena Malik Jokes in Urdu collection.

Santa: 'Wo Konsa Time Hy Jo Mard Ko 10
mint Me Thaka dta Hy
OR
Orat Chahti hy K Wo Krta rahy
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Veena Malik: “Shopping”
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Main sharif ho gayi hoon...:)

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Boy:" kya tum hamesha mere
sath rehne ka waada kar sakti ho ??
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Veena:" haan..
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Boy:" mujhe kabhi chhod ke nahi jaogi ??
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Veena:" nahi..
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Boy:" kya kya kar sakti ho mere liye ??
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Veena:" jo bhi tum bolo
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Boy:" mujhe kabhi shikayat ka mauka nahi dogi
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Veena:" kabhi nahi..
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Boy:" kya chahiye tumhe mujhse ??
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Veena:" 3000 per month
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Boy:" thik hai kal se kaam pe aa jana jhadu aur baki safaai ka
saman kharid lena..
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Veena:" ji saab, ab mai chalti hoon..
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aur aap soch rahe the ki Veena malik itni acchi kabse ho gayi..???

Ary ye toh koi housemaid thi badqismati say inka naam Veena rakha gaya tha.
Baqi toh aap log jante hi hain k kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hosakti.

Patni adhi rat ko Kapde utar kar

Patni adhi rat ko romantic mood me, Kapde utar kar tirchi nigaho se Pati ki taraf dekh ke boli :
"Darling pata hai na kya karna hai ?"
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Pati : aisi ki taisi, mai adhi rat ko kapde ni dhone wala.
Thoko " like"

Husband Wife Dirty Hindi Joke

Husband Wife Double Meaning dirty Hindi Joke sms

Husband: Munna yahin se Bahar Aata hai??
Wife Muskraty hue: han lekin tm jhanko mat.
Nazar nahi ae ga. Boht chota surakh he.

Thodi der baad
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School ki bell bajti hai. Munna bahr ata he,
aur dono munnay ko le kr ghar chaly jaty hen.

Suraakh to gate me bhi hota hai face-smile-big.png

Khair munna jahan se bhi bahr aya mere dost,
teri soch ko ek baar phir 21 topon ki salami.

Aik Ladki akeli ja rahi thi

1 Ldki Akeli Ja Rhi Thi,

1 Ldka Samne Se Aa Raha Tha,

2no Bilkul Pas Aa Gye,

Ladka Side Ho Gaya,

Ldki Chali Gyi.

MTLB-Hr Koi Apki Trah Kamina Nhi Hota.

By: Aakash

Jaan Chotey soraakh Mein Nahi

Larki: Jaan Chotey soraakh Mein Nahi, Barray Soraakh Mein Daalo.
Larka: Andhera Itna hai Soraakh Nazar Nahi Aa Raha.
Larki: Sorakh par Ungli Phero mehsoos Hojae ga?
Larka: Wah! Ungli sey tou Andhere Mein Bhi Sorakh Mill Gaya.
Larki: Jan ab Aahista Sey Andar Daal do.
Larka: Poora Andar Chala Gaya.
UUf ! Kitna Mushkil Hai Andherey Mein

“HEADPHONE KI PIN MOBILE MEIN LAGANA”

Double Meaning Urdu SMS Collection

Kehtay hain aurat k hath mein barkat hoti hai
Bilkul sahi hai! Q k agar us k hath mein 2 inch ki cheez pakra dein to
6 inch ki kar deti hai
Jaisay..
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"Chapaati"
Think positive yar



Girl to riksha wal :
Q bhai jaye ga ?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga, abhi abhi to Oil lga kar khara kia hai
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Girl : to phir Ghuma kar peechay le loo



Boy: Aj kaisa Feel kar rahi ho?
Girl: Kal rat to hadd he ho gaye, Uff 2 ghantay! meri to jaan he nikal gaye
Saaray kapray geelay ho gae
Pehlay to aik ghanta kartay thay
Magar kal to pooray 2 ghantay tak saans he nahi aaye
1 Ghanta bhe buhat tha
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ye 2 Ghantay ki Load Shedding to jaan he nikal leti hai

Double Meaning Hindi Text SMS

Larki jub saray kapray utaar laiti hay to kia hota hay?
?

?

?
Taar khali ho jati hay.
Yaar kabhi to +ve socha karo.



BHARWA
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BHARWA
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BHARWA
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BHARWA
jaldi jaldi petrol BHARWA lo halat ka kuch pata nahi
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Tum Kya Samjhy Thay




GIRL:
Jaano Meray mun mai Daalo, main Choson gi
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BOY:
Nahi nahi tum kha Gai toh main Kiya Karon ga?

GIRL:
Tum
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Tum
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Doosri Icecream Le Lena

Urdu Double Meaning Text Collection

Uffo Kia Kerte Ho
Duur Hat Jao
Koi Dekhe Ga Tou Kia
Soche Ga ??
Aqal Nahi Hy Kia ?
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Uff Abi Nhi Krona
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Akele Me Krna
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NAAK SAAF ;->
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Hamesha Ganda Sochna



Uff plzz plzz aur karo naaa
dabao naa, zara zor se
aisa karo apni shirt nikalo
apni pant bhi nikal do
meri saadi bhi nikal do
ab zorse dabao aur dabao naa
bahut tight hai plz.
aur Zorse!plz karo naa plz......,
ho gaya na suitcase bannd.



Kuch log thodi der karte hain….
Kuch log 2-3 dafa karte hain,
aur kuch saari raat karte rahate hain,
tab jaakar hota hai….
unka…
Mobile Charge

Urdu Double Meaning Text SMS

SAb kEhte hAiN
9 MAhiNoN mE h0 jAtA hy,
Per Ab tou 10wA MAhiNA StArt h0 gAyA hy,
Aakhir yE kAb h0 gA..??
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1. TiME ChAngE
2. WeAthEr ChAngE



Larka Larki Se Kia Kr Rhe Ho ?
Larki Dodh Pee Rhe Ho
Larka Kis Ka ?
Larki Apni Bhen
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Ki
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Bhains Ka



Girl Friend ke saath,
Kamre ke andhar,
Table ke upar,
Batti ke neeche,
De tacatac.... tacatac..
De tacatac.... tacatac..
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Stupid I am playing table tennis.

Urdu Double Meaning Text SMS

Wo konsi halat ho gi, jis me admi ko 10 minut me pasena a jata he or aurat chahti he k wo ye kam krti rahe?
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Think?
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Shopping:-)



Ye Dunya Bhi Badi Ajeeb Hai
Jab Aap Chup Rehte Hain To Wo Aap Ko Bewaqoof Samajhti Hai
0r
Jab Aap Bolte Hain To Un Ka Shak Yaqeen Me Badal Jata Hai.



Kabhi kabhi Jee to ye Chahta hai k Duniya k sb se Khubsurat or Haseen Insan ka Qatal kr don
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Mager bad ma
Socha hon k
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Khud-Kushi to
Haraam hai..:-



Shadeed sardi ki waja se bhenso ne doodh kam dena shuru kr dia hai,
Dar hai k doodh ki shortage ho jaye gi,
Is liy tamaam “GIRLS” se guzarish hai
ke is muskil waqt mein Hukumat ka sath den
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Aur boil karte waqt doodh zaya hone se bachayen.

Hindi Double Meaning Text SMS

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2
hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi
hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe
kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
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Tumhara Mind kidhar hai??



Le kar tu dekho kabhi mera bhi
Na ziada lamba hai Na ziada chota
sub k samne lo
Ya tanhai me lo
sharmao mut bus ab le lo
kiya bhala
MERA NAAM


oh no Dr. please jaldi karo
oh no blood?
oh ahhhhh bahut dard ho raha hai
jaldi nikaalo na
Dr. yeh lo nikaal dia….. khuda daant ka dard bhi kissi ko na de

Urdu Double Meaning SMS

GIRL apne jaise jwan PROFESSOR se.sir mai kuch b krun gi pas hone k liye
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PROF:kuch b?
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GIRL:han
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PROF:to jao or khoob study kro
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MORAL:Har koi _VE SOCH nahi rakhta.




Ek din mila wo muj se,
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buja buja sa,
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jhuka jhuka sa
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Thaka thaka sa
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Udasion me
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Racha bassa sa
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Muje andaza ho gya k ga*doo m*th mar k aya ha'



Hamesha,
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Apni pasand k raste per chalo,
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Apne tariqe se Muhabat kro,
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Apne alfaz me baat kro.
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Sirf wo kro jo apka dil kahe.
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Aur phir dekhna,
1 din sari dunia kahe gi.
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"Kanjar kise di nai manda"

Double Meaning Text Messages

A Girl went to repair umbrella.
Shopkeeper: BB ooper ka kapra otarna parega aur neechay danda dalna parega.
Larki Boli:jo marzi karo bus pani andar na aaye!


1. Garam ho
2. Gori ho
3. Tez ho
4. Meethi ho
5. Doodh zyada ho
6. Do minute me taiyar ho
7. Raat ko Sone na deti ho.
Team main hamesha ye Qualities hon chayie


Really missed you today. Just thought of telling you..
What's your name anyway!

Funny Double Meaning SMS

Wife:Bas karog ji..raat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho aur subah k 8 baj chuke hain.
Thake nahi kya?Aur kitna karoge?
Husband:karne do na darling abhi to mere 200 msg aur free hain



In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy?
Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.



Wo maangti thi mein deta na tha,
Jawab us k sawal ka..

Abhi rakkha hi tha k choot gaya,
Haath se phool gulab ka..

Wo kehti thi peeche se nahi aage se karo,
Deedar mere husne shabab ka..

Wo kehti thi bara dard hota hai jub under jata hai,
Kaano mein ik ik lafz janab k.

Double Meaning Text Messages

In Which Situation, Do Men Start Sweating
In 10 Mins & Women Want To Go ON & ON & ON?
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Think..
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Think..
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Ans is SHOPPING! :-p
God Bless Your Naughty Mind!



What's An Average 6 Inch Long
Inside A Guy's Pants And Girls Love To Blow It Up?
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A:1000- Rupee Currency Note.!
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Always Think POSITIVE



Uffo Kia Kerte Ho
Duur Hat Jao
Koi Dekhe Ga Tou Kia
Soche Ga ??
Aqal Nahi Hy Kia ?
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Uff Abi Nhi Krona
Akele Me Krna
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NAAK SAAF
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Hamesha Ganda Sochna

Funny Double Meaning Text Messages

"Sochta Hun Aaj Bahon Me Pakad Ke Dal Hi Dun,
Balon Me Fool Gulab Ka"

"Dalte Hi Gir Jata Hai,
Patta Patta Gulab Ka."

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Haath Main Lo Tou Dabane Ko Dil Kerta Hy

Dabalo Tou Choosne Ko Dil Kerta Hy
Choos Lo Tou Dil Nahi Bharta

Q k
Q k
Saal main Ek Hii baar Tou Aata Hai AAAM . . .
HaPpY SumMer SeAsOn . . .

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G karta hai k aj Apko ...
Koney mein le ja kr
1 danda le kr ... Aap ki


GA
GAN
GAND
GANDHI G
k style mein
photo loon...

Husband Wife Funny SMS

Some Basic Rules


1.Apni Wife Ki Hr Roz Leni Chahiye



KHABAR



2.Uska Pakar Kr Bar Bar Chumna Chahiye

HAATH



3.Uska Bare Aaram Se Dabana Chahiye



PAIR



4. Uski Aage Se Hi Nahi Peeche Se Bhi Karni Chahiye

TAREEF



5.Uske Samne Aate Hi Nikaal Kar Uske Hath Mai dedo

Monthly Salary!

Double Meaning Messages

Ek Ganda Msg Sunao..?
Aik Larka Hota Hai..
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Woh Keechar Main Gir Jata Hai..
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GANDAAAAAAAAAA. .

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Raat ko hamaisha kapray utaar ke sona chahiye.
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mera matlab rasi se.....kyun k baarish ka kuch pata nahi hota.

Sonia Gandhi Funny SMS

After Electi0n PM Of India ManMohan Singh Said“
Yeh To Sonia G K Hath Ka Kamal Hai,
Werna Is Umar Mein Mera Khara Hona Mushkil Tha

Double Meaning SMS Text Messages

Pehle gale se lagao,
Phir kiss karo...Phir bed pe litao,
Phir uske legs uthao..
Agar bachhe ne susu kar dia,
to pamper badlo


Barsaat ki raat,
ek ladki bheege badan,
bheege hoath,
bheege baal,
Use dekh ke laga,
laga..



kal ye pakke bimar hogi.