Papu apni Biwi se - Suhag Rat Joke in Urdu

 

Veena Malik Jokes in Urdu

Veena Malik Jokes in Urdu collection.

Santa: 'Wo Konsa Time Hy Jo Mard Ko 10
mint Me Thaka dta Hy
OR
Orat Chahti hy K Wo Krta rahy
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Veena Malik: “Shopping”
.
.
Main sharif ho gayi hoon...:)

_____________________________________________________

Boy:" kya tum hamesha mere
sath rehne ka waada kar sakti ho ??
.
Veena:" haan..
.
.
Boy:" mujhe kabhi chhod ke nahi jaogi ??
.
Veena:" nahi..
.
.
Boy:" kya kya kar sakti ho mere liye ??
.
Veena:" jo bhi tum bolo
.
Boy:" mujhe kabhi shikayat ka mauka nahi dogi
.
Veena:" kabhi nahi..
.
.
Boy:" kya chahiye tumhe mujhse ??
.
.
Veena:" 3000 per month
.
Boy:" thik hai kal se kaam pe aa jana jhadu aur baki safaai ka
saman kharid lena..
.
.
.
Veena:" ji saab, ab mai chalti hoon..
.
.
.
aur aap soch rahe the ki Veena malik itni acchi kabse ho gayi..???

Ary ye toh koi housemaid thi badqismati say inka naam Veena rakha gaya tha.
Baqi toh aap log jante hi hain k kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hosakti.

Patni adhi rat ko Kapde utar kar

Patni adhi rat ko romantic mood me, Kapde utar kar tirchi nigaho se Pati ki taraf dekh ke boli :
"Darling pata hai na kya karna hai ?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pati : aisi ki taisi, mai adhi rat ko kapde ni dhone wala.
Thoko " like"

Wife ne Taang utha kar di

Pure veg joke .....
.
Sharma ji ne party m Verma ji ko bulaya ..
.
Verma ji khoob kha pee rhe the ,

, Itne m Sharma ji wife aai or boli , Kya Verma saheb Aap b , itna sarma rhe ho ,,, chicken to Aap ne khaya hi nahi or Ye bol kr chicken leg piece verma saheb ko diya , .
.
Sharma ... Or verma saheb ... Mje to kiye na khane peene m ,
.
Verma... Ji Sharma ji ..bahut aanad aaya sach m ... Lekin aap ki wife ne jo aakhir m mujhe tang utha ke Di na , wo m life m kabhi nahi bhool skta...

Suhagraat wala system

POTA: " Dadu Dadu batao na Bacche kaise
paida
hote hai..??
.
.
.
DADA: " Aasman se pari aati hai or
bachche ko
maa k pet me rakh deti hai..
.
.
.
. .
POTA:"Dadu... Ab wo suhagraat wala
system
khatam ho gaya kya.. ?
.
POTA Rocked , DADU Shocked.. 

Mere pati mujhse Romance nahi karte

Khatarnak Joke

Lady-Dr.mere pati mujhse Romance
nahi
karte..
Dr-ye lo 30 goliyan, 1goli roj khilana.

Lady ne 1 Goli di pati ne us raat
romance
kiya..
Agle din usne 2 Goli di, to pati ne
khoob jor
se romance kiya..

Teesre din usne puri 27 goliya dudh me
dal
ke pila di..

3 din baad, Dr. ne lady k bete se uski
maa
ka haal poocha tho beta bola-
Maa mar gayi,

Chachi&mausi hospital me hain,
Kaam wali bhag gayi.   

    

Sawami Lunnacharya jokes in hindi

Sawami Lunnacharya Ke Anusar
Shaadi Ki Gaanth To Aasman Mein Hi Bandh Jati Hai 
Aadmi To Sirf Petikot, Salwar Aur Bra Ki Gaanthe Kholne Ke Liye Hi Zamin Par Bheja Jaata Hai.

Ek Baar Swami Lunnacharya Ji Apne Bhakto Ko Pravachan De Ke Uthe.

To Ek Angrej Ladki, Jo Unke Pravachan Se Bahut Impress Ho Chuki Thi, Unhhe Apne Sath Sex Karne Ka Offer Diya.

Ladki Jawan Aur Bahut Khubsurat Thi Aur Apne Swami Ji Bhi Tharki Thhe, Unhone Offer Accept Kar Liya.

Angrejan Ko Le Gaye Apne Kamre Mein Aur Sex Karna Shuru Kar Diya.

Jaisa Ki Aapko Pata Hai Wo Buddhe The, Aur Shareer Mein Jaan Kam Thhi, Sex Karte Karte Achanak Kaanpne Lage.

Ladki Ne Bahut Pyaar Se Puchha: “Kya Hua Swaami Ji? Aap Kaamp Kyu Rahe Ho?”

Ab Swami Ji Akhir Thhe To Sachhe Desh Bhakat, Unhone Socha Ye To Bahar Jake India Ki Beizzjti Kar Degi, Kuch Soch Ke Bole

Lunnacharya: “Bachha Wo Kya Hai, Tum Logo Ko To Vibrators Lene Ki Adat Hai, Mene Socha Indian Lunn With Vibrator Twist De Du, Kam Se Kam Yad To Rakhogi Swami Ji Ko“

Billo Family Doctor Ke Pass

Billo Badi Dukhi Si Hokar Apne Family Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Boli.

Billo: “Doctor Saab, Aajkal Bahut Thak Jati Hun, Lagta Hai Khoon Kam Ho Gaya Hai”

Doctor Ne Kuch Socha Aur Pucha: “Periods Ke Waqt Kitna Loss Hota Hai?”

Billo Sochte Hue: “Kam Se Kam 4-5 Lakh Rupaye Ka To Ho Hi Jata Hai“

Suhag raat ko Dulha Dulhan Se

Suhag raat ko Dulha B.V sy bola Janu honeymoon pr kahan jana hai?
.
.
B.V ne sharma kr kaha, Jithy tusi ly chalo, Main ty deni ay
aithy v.......ty othy v.

Pappu to girlfriend sexy joke

Pappu texts to her girlfriend, "Do you fuk?"
Girlfriend: Excuse me?

Pappu: Do you fuk?
Girlfriend: Stop it, asshole!

Pappu: Stupid auto-correct in my phone, I am soooo sorry.
Girlfriend: It's OK. I'm sorry, too. What did you mean to say, anyways?

Pappu: Do you suck?

SAAS BAHU KE jHAGDE per JOke

SAAS/BAHU KE jHAGDE mein:

Saas: i have carried him for 9 months.

Bahu: only 3.5 kgs na? 
I carry him every night, he is 80 kgs now .
Baat karti hai .

Sexy Quote in English

According To A Research Of William Sexfear,

The Only Time A Man Taking Care Of A Girl’s Hair Is While She Is Giving Him A Blow Job.

School k Dramy Me "MAA" ban ne wali hu

Beti - Main Maa ban ne wali hu.
.
Maa-kamini, Kaha jaake muh kala karwa k kaayi
he?
.
.
Kiska paap apne pet me leke aayi he?
.
Kis k sath apni hawas aur ayyashi puri kar k aayi
h?
.
Padhne ki umar me kaha kahan apne baap ka
naam roshan
karke aayi he?
.
.
Bol warna tujhe anarkali ki tarha deewar me
cement dal k pack
kar dungi...
.
.
.
.
Beti (rote hue)- School k Dramy Me "MAA" ban
ne wali hu.

Kabi koi gandi film dakhi hai

Pati 1st night: Tum ne kabi koi gandi film
dakhi hai?
.
wife: Han
.
Pati: Bas hame phir waise hi krna hai .
.
.
.
.
.
Wife:To baki 2 ladke tum bulaoge ya mai
call krun? lolz  

Sunny Leone ki Suhagrat ka scene hai

Director 2 Sunny Leone:

''Suhagrat ka scene hai.......
Doodh ka glass le ke jana h, aur hero ko pilana
hai.'

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sunny Leone:- Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to
Hema Malini Ko le lete. !! :p :D

Mard aur Aurat ka rishta

Mard aur Aurat ka rishta b ajeeb hota hai

Door raho to Judaai

Aur paas raho to .....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladaai !!!

Ha haa woh b hota hai jo tum soch rahe ho ;)

Ganda sms in hindi

Ek ladki Ne aapse lift maangi
Rasteme... Uski tabiyat kharab ho gai
Aap use hospital Le gaye
Dr. bola :- Aap baap banne wale ho
Lo ji ho gai Naee tension suru
Aap bole me iska baap nahi hu
Fir ladki boli yahi iska baap he
Tension or badh gai
Fir aapka medical checkup huva
Report aayi aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte
Lo ji jayda badh gai tension
Aapne thank god kaha or nikal liye
Fir socha ghar pe Jo 2 bache he vo kiske he
Now, this is real tension ....

Moral: Kisi bhi ladki ko Kabhi lift nahi deni chahiye...!!!

Tumhara andar gaya tab 6 inch

1st time sexy karne ke baad ladki darr gayi,
Aur jor jor se chut par hath mar k rone lagi.

Ladka- kya hua?

Ladki- tumhara andar gaya tab 6 inch ka tha bahar aaya to 3 inch
ka tha.

Baki aadha kanha gaya ?..... :'(

Ek Madrassi Ki Nayi Shadi Hui

Ek Madrassi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Aur Vo Biwi Ko Leke Honeymoon Manane Train Mein Ja Raha Thha.
Train Mein Sath Wali Seat Par Ek Angrej Bhi Betha Thha.
Madrasi Ke Dimag Mein Aya Ki Agar Main Apni Biwi Ka Sex Is Se Karwa Lu To Bachha Gora Paida Hoga
Madrassi Ne Angrej Se Puchha: “Kya Tum Meri Biwi Ke Sath Sex Karoge?”

Angrej Ne Khush Ho Ke Kaha: “Jarur, Kyu Nahi”
Angrej Ne Ek Baar Sex Kar Liya
Par Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Karva Leta Hu,
Angrej Ne Phir Se Uski Biwi Ke Sath Sex Kia,
Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Ho Jaye Toh Pakka Ho Jayga,
Madraasii Ne Angrej Se Kaha: “Ek Baar Aur Kar Lo”
Angrej: “Nahhi, Ab Nai Kar Sakta”
Madrassi: “Kyuu?”
Angrej Muskurate Hue: “Kyunki Mere Pass Sirf 2 Hi Condoms Thhe“

Boy to Doctor Sexy Hindi SMS

Boy: Doctor sahib mera l-n khara nahi hota,

Doctor: married ho?
Boy: no

Doctor: muth shuth
Boy: no

D: heera mandi?
Boy: no

D: girlfriend?
Boy: no

D: koi khusra?
Boy: no

Doctor: fair khara kr k 2011 da calendar tangna E